Dreamworks has acquired the film rights for The Way of Kings .
In an official PR broadcast today, Dreamworks Studios announced the acquisition of film rights for Brandon Sanderson’s NYT best-selling fantasy novel, The Way of Kings .
“We’re very excited to bring The Way of Kings to the screen,” Dreamworks CEO April Firston says. “We’re dedicated to giving this epic story the exposure it deserves, and plan on staying completely true to the book, unlike that hack Peter Jackson.”
Initial reports are that the book will be split into seven 4-hour long animated movies, each to be directed by M. Night Shaylaman. Ben McSweeney, interior artist for the original book, is quoted as saying, “Well, they got the rockbuds right, so that’s something, I guess.” Brandon Sanderson didn’t have time to comment, as he’s currently working on fifteen additional tie-in novels taking place over a thousand-year time span in eight different interconnecting worlds.
Casting is still underway, but Robert Pattinson is rumored to be in talks to voice Kaladin, and Pauly Shore has expressed interest in Hoid. Eighteen musical numbers will be added, including “Why Can’t I Just Die,” “What the Hell Are These Symbol Headed Things?” and “Livin’ La Vida Roshar.”
EDIT: Obviously this was an April Fool’s joke. Happy Spring everyone, and stormfather forbid what I’ve written above should ever come to pass. Thanks to /u/virgiliart and /u/catastrophesnail for brainstorming on ideas.
You got it wrong. I’m not busy because I’m writing other books, I’m working on the licensing deals! Cardboard shardplate! Official Bridge Four loincloths! “There’s spren in my poop” toilet paper! p
Serious question: are there poopspren, and how would they fare in indoor plumbing situations?
Well, it depends on how you’re defining spren. In the books, they don’t make a distinction, but there are several varieties. At the basic level, everything has an identity—a soul, you might say, but more than that. This is based on how it is viewed, and how long it has been viewed that way. Feces would have this, but wouldn’t have a very strong cognitive identity because of its transitional nature.
Other types of spren, the type that characters see and interact with, are cognitive ideals or concepts which have taken on literal personification over time. These are usually related to forces or emotions, and don’t relate to this particular topic.
And that’s far more than I ever expected to say on this…
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