I keep promising that I’ll tell you about some of the other silly character revelations I had pop up in the book. This one is particularly embarrassing. To be honest, I have NO idea what I was thinking.
In the original draft of the book, Hrathen turns out to have been from Duladel the entire time. It’s revealed in this scene, when he and Sarene are running from the Dakhor. He was of Dula blood, having grown up there, then moved to Fjorden as a teenager.
Yes, I know. I must have been tired when I wrote that chapter. Anyway, at one point it must have seemed like a good idea. It didn’t make even the first cut, however—my first readers rose up in open rebellion, and I joined them.
I figure I must have decided that it was more dramatic to discover that Hrathen had betrayed his own people by destroying Duladel. (Note, in the early draft of the book, I made more of a habit of pointing out that the Duladen republicans weren’t generally dark-skinned.) In the first draft, I always had Hrathen wear black die in his hair and pretended to be from Fjorden.
Yes, again, I know. It was stupid. We writers do stupid things sometimes. I didn’t even pause to think that the drama of Hrathen betraying his own people and religion in the present is far more powerful than a betrayal that happened before the book even started. I denied his entire character by trying to rely on some whim that seemed like a clever, unexpected twist. Don’t let yourselves do things like this, writers. Let the twists help develop the character, not exist simply to surprise.
Anyway, I’ll post this scene in the deleted scenes section. It’ll keep me humble to know people can read it.
I am quite glad that Hrathen wasn’t from Duladel. That would’ve been weird.
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