I worked for a while on the last line of Part Two. Originally, Hrathen thought to himself “Well, this isn’t good.” However, Moshe disagreed with that line. First, he thought it was too quippish. He wanted something more serious here. Second, he didn’t think that these events were actually bad for Hrathen. Telrii, a man who had been giving Hrathen serious troubles, and Eondel, one of his main enemies, had just killed each other. On top of that, Roial—the main rival for the throne—is dead. All in all, a lot of annoying people are dead.
Moshe had a point, though I did disagree a bit. I think Hrathen would see Telrii’s death as a wasted investment. He was still hoping to control the man, and having Telrii on the throne and amiable to Hrathen would have been a much better outcome, since it would leave Hrathen looking less powerless before Wyrn.
However, I went ahead and changed the line. It now reads “So much for avoiding a bloody revolution.” It gets across the same ruefulness as before, without being as flippant.
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