To: Les Dabel, Ernst Dabel
Sent: Tuesday, September 28, 2004 9:53 AM
Subject: SCRIPT #2
Dear Les and Ernst,
Here is Script #2 with my comments added in. There aren’t many, this time, and they all have to do with dialogue. Some of that is too stilted, now, especially for Siuan. Moiraine speaks without any contractions, but Siuan is much more casual in her speech. And there is at least one place where someone says something that isn’t needed, and in Bannerman Steler’s case, is actually wrong.
Sorry to have been so long with this.
Mike Miller has shown me his artwork for the spread showing all of Tar Valon, and I must say that it is beautiful. I’m talking to him about getting my hands on it after you guys are done with it.
Take care, guys. All my best, Jim
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